1- Breastfeeding log. You know, the one that the hospital gives you in a booklet that only lasts for 12 days. The one that tracks the time and length of every single feeding, as well as several other things. I made copies and have been doing it since the day Hannah came home from the hospital for the first time--over 4 months ago.
2- Weekly weight checks for Hannah.
3- Hannah's pulse oximeter. It measures her heart rate and oxygen levels. We've been using it since 2 weeks after Hannah came home from the hospital the 2nd time and had an especially freaky breathing episode. That was 3 months ago.
Weaning is definitely easier said than done.
Two weeks ago, Hannah's pediatrician gave her a clean bill of health. I made him tell me that I have no need to be paranoid anymore. He told me I could quit using those 3 things. At the time, I could only bring myself to quit logging Hannah's wet diapers and the color of her stools. (Scott is convinced that when Hannah is 16, I'll still be asking her how often she poops.)
Last Tuesday, we had a follow-up appointment with Hannah's surgeon. He also gave Hannah a clean bill of health. We don't even have to take Hannah back in for 4 months. I asked him to tell me not to be paranoid anymore and that it was okay to stop using the oximeter. He told me to "get rid of it." Not going to happen. Our insurance is buying it for us because we've had it so long. This could be good and bad.
My weaning progress:
1- Breastfeeding log. Yesterday was my last day using it. Today I did just fine remembering when I last fed Hannah. I guess I must not be as sleep deprived as I used to be. I can also mentally keep track of whether or not Hannah is constipated. It has been pretty liberating not to have to write everything down.
2- Weight checks. I was totally going to start doing them only every other week and then monthly. However, Hannah hasn't gained as much weight as she should have these past two weeks, so I went back today. She still didn't gain much. So I feel justified hanging on to this for a couple more weeks.
3- Oximeter. This is by far the scariest thing to wean myself from. A couple of weeks ago, I stopped hooking Hannah up to it for her naps (and I just frequently check on her). This last Friday, we finally stopped hooking her up to it at night. I might have cried myself to sleep. Apparently I'm still a little traumatized by having seen my baby quit breathing and turn blue. But guess what--Hannah was alive and well the next morning (and all the other times I checked on her throughout the night).
It all comes down to faith. When Hannah came home from the hospital after her first surgery, we didn't have the oximeter for the first 2 weeks. I didn't sleep at all the first couple of days, and I was deliriously tired. I knew I couldn't keep that up forever, so I pleaded with Heavenly Father to watch over her while I slept. It was hard to let go and turn it over to Heavenly Father. And it still is. I know Heavenly Father is much more capable of watching over and protecting Hannah, but I couldn't shake the thought that maybe He wanted sweet Hannah back home with Him. Fortunately, several of Hannah's blessings have helped me get rid of this thought--mostly. I know I have to trust that Heavenly Father knows what is best for me and for Hannah. I just really hope good health is in His plan. :)
Here are a few cute pics of Hannah to make this post less boring:
She absolutely loves sucking on anything, especially her hands...
Nothing gets in the way of Hannah getting her fingers to her mouth.
Hmmmm. How can I get this into my mouth?
Like this. Wait--it doesn't fit. (Not sure why this pic is sideways.)
One of these things is not like the others. The 2nd one from the left is the cutest!Apparently, eight years ago I bought onesies for each of my 4 new nephews, and they've all come back to me. This means Hannah can have up to 3 blowouts every day. :)
Happy May to you all!
7 comments:
The prayer I always prayed as I tried to sleep and was worried about my baby who was sick, or otherwise causing me to worry, was that Heavenly Father would please help me to wake up if there was anything wrong and I needed to be awake. It seemed to calm my nerves and then I could sleep comforted by my faith that if I was needed, Heavenly Father would let me know. It is hard to let go...but you might as well know that it starts from the minute they are born and those first babies fight for every new stage of independence. Ask Jeremiah.
I've prayed that prayer many times myself. Most recently when I was worried I wouldn't hear Isaac in the other room in his crib if he needed me. No worries, I hear him just fine.
I think Hannah looks chubby and healthy and adorable. I think you can stop being concerned about the weight gain. They go in spurts if you ask me. Some weeks are slower but they make up for it later.
Love the Cubbies onsies photo. Adorable.
Oh MaryAnn you are such an amazing person and mother! It's hard for me to see you so worried and I pray that things will continue to get easier. I'm also so glad that Hannah is doing so great!! And she is absolutely darling!
Just remember - weaning is a process. I'm sure gradual step-downs will help you and you will get there soon. If it makes you feel any better, Lauren has constipation issues and I still somewhat monitor her pooping - basically just to make sure she is pooping every day - and she's almost 4!
Sounds like you've got a lot of loving sisters and friends to support you in your weaning process. I'm with you all that faith is what is required and you'll do fine. Hannah looks great!!
Yeah...you know you are a mom when you can talk about kids' poop without batting an eyelash! I am so glad the doctors all feel so good about Hannah's health. She is such a cutie. Good luck with the weaning process. (Oh, and I love the 4 cubs outfits!!)
Wait, are you counting how many blowouts she has a day? I thought you were supposed to stop doing that!
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